- Part 10
Sully and Brian sat together on the steps of Preston's house, sipping from their canteens and enjoying a rest before putting things away for the evening. The work had gone well and Brian had seemed less hostile as the day went on. Sully smiled at his son. "I appreciate your help, today, Brian. Ya done real good!"

Brian flicked a glance in Sully's direction but said nothing.

Sully went on, "Ya wanna finish what you were talkin' about this mornin'? Before Preston come along?"

Brian shrugged and then shook his head. "It wasn't nothin'"

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah. Are we headin' home soon?"

"Pretty soon." Sully took a closer look at Brian. "Brian, have you been shaving?"

Brian looked uncomfortable. "Sometimes".

"Ya know, we coulda talked about it, Brian, I coulda ..."

"Matthew showed me" Brian said shortly.

"Okay. That's okay. Brian, you'll be done school in a year or so. Have ya given any thought to what you might want ta do with your life?"

Brian looked as if he were about to shrug again, but thought better of it and said, "I dunno. Maybe somethin' with writin' - workin' on a newspaper, maybe".

"That's real fine, Brian. You write real good an' I know ya like helpin' out Miss Dorothy".

Brian flicked another glance at Sully. "I might ... I might wanta do somethin' with the land, too ... ta keep people from ruinin' it".

"No reason ya couldn't do both. Ya seen how the articles Miss Dorothy writes make folks think, even change their ideas sometimes."

"I think Ma would like it if I went to college" Brian ventured.

Sully grinned. "Yeah, she probably would. Sounds like ya got a lot of decisions ta make in the next couple years. I been thinkin' about that an' I had an idea". Sully glanced at Brian and when he saw he still had his attention, went on. "If all goes well an' the judge grants me a full pardon next month, maybe we can think about headin' up North, pay Cloud Dancin' a visit?"

"Really?" Brian's voice held the first traces of enthusiasm Sully had heard in awhile.

"Sure. I was thinkin', if ya wanted to, that while we were there Cloud Dancin' an' some of the others might support you in a vision quest. It's a good way to get the measure of yourself, to help find your path".

Brian remembered when Matthew had taken that step right before he became engaged to Ingrid. Brian had followed them and then literally stumbled upon the ritual and been allowed to stay. It had all seemed very mysterious to him at the time and he knew it entailed going without food and drink for a long time. He also knew it had to do with becoming a man. But he seemed to remember something else. "Didn't he have to ..." he couldn't think of the words and looked at Sully for help.

"Perform a task first?" Sully supplied.

"Yeah. He hadta get a hawk's egg or something".

"I been thinkin' about that, too. The things I've tried to teach ya - fishin', trappin, huntin', buildin' a fire, makin' a shelter are all skills you need ta survive. You've never really had to use 'em. I didn't have those skills when I was first on my own. I was just ten years old and I had ta find my own ways to survive. I was thinkin' it might be good for you ta spend a week out in the woods alone, really usin' the things I taught ya!"

"What ... what if I can't?"

"Well, then ya go hungry - and maybe get wet!" Sully saw the look on Brian's face and added, "Brian, I wouldn't send ya out there if I didn't think you could do it. And we'll do it close enough to the homestead that you can get home in a real emergency - maybe out near the treasure cave".

Brian experienced a slight twinge thinking about the cave and what had gone on there last night but he recovered and replied, "That might be okay".

"Think about it," Sully said, rising from the step and preparing to leave. Then he grinned conspiratorially. "We ain't even talked about the hardest part yet," he confided.

"What's that?"

"Convincin' yer ma!"

This at last produced a small smile and the two finished hitching up the wagon for the ride home.

As they clattered toward town where Sully needed to drop off some work for Robert E and they were to pick up Michaela, Brian thought about the day. He had started out really angry at Sully for making him spend his whole day at the homestead when it was part of Sully's sentence to build it. He still didn't understand everything Sully had said about choices. He had thought about it while they were working and figured that his father, Ethan, had made a bad choice in leaving his ma and Colleen, Matthew and him, and that Dr. Mike had made a good choice in taking them in when their real ma died. He figured Ma and Sully had made a good choice when they decided to get married, even though it had changed things more than he sometimes liked. The choices Sully had made about the Indians seemed a lot more complicated, somehow. Brian liked things black and white - right was right and wrong was wrong.

He'd heard it said time and again that people couldn't just decide for themselves what was right and wrong but sometimes, especially when it came to the Indians, things seemed to be turned inside out. He remembered the trial and Sully explaining how it was impossible to call his own family 'enemy', how he had to help them after Cloud Dancing was almost beaten to death. So that made it seem a good choice. But then the Indians who'd been set free burned Matthew's and Miss Teresa's and some other homesteads, Sully had almost been killed while fleeing and then he went to trial and had been sentenced to repair the damage done as a result of his choice. That made it seem a bad choice. Sully had been so busy these last two years, Brian felt almost abandoned. He never had told Sully today about one of the worst times, nine months ago. And now the judge was due back next month to close Sully's case once and for all. The secret fear in Brian's heart was so great that he hadn't even been able to speak about it to anyone. What if the judge still sentenced Sully to hang or to life in prison? The words of the sentence still rang in his ears: 'I would not want to sentence you to death without first giving you the chance to make things right ...' Well, Sully had just about finished making things right. What if he were still sentenced to die? It was so hard to get close to someone just to have them leave you.

Sully's talk of a trip North and a vision quest led Brian to believe that Sully, anyway, felt he would be pardoned. It would be good to see Cloud Dancing and he would like being able to think of himself as a man. The task though - survival in the woods for a week, alone - Sully had joked about his being 'hungry and wet' which Brian hadn't thought was very funny. He was flattered that Sully felt he could manage but there was also a little niggling doubt in the back of his mind. What if Sully was just suggesting this to get him out of the way?

Sometimes the fear and worry threatened to overwhelm him. He hadn't told anyone but he'd started having nightmares again just like he'd had when he first went to live with Dr. Mike. Ma and Sully had enough to worry about and Matthew was busy being sheriff - there seemed to have been a lot more for him to do lately. Colleen was off at school. Sam was a good friend and fishing buddy but they hadn't been through a lot together yet the way he and Anthony had. He missed Anthony. He'd confided in Miss Dorothy before but sometimes he just needed a man to talk to. Maybe he would stop by the mercantile tomorrow and see what kind of mood Mr. Bray was in. Besides, he was out of gumdrops.

The wagon rattled to a halt and Brian was surprised to see that they'd already reached the livery. His thoughts had carried him far away but it was time to snap out of it.

- Part 11
Michaela had seen her last patient at 3:30 and after updating some patient files, closed the clinic. She had some time to kill before Sully and Brian picked her up and her steps carried her over to Loren's store where she found Dorothy printing off the last copies of the "Colorado Springs Eagle".

"There you are, Michaela," Dorothy said, handing her a paper, "hot off the press!"

"Thank you, Dorothy," Michaela smiled, handing her a coin. "How are you doing?"

Dorothy rolled her eyes and pushed back a stray lock of red hair. "Oh, don't ask!" she cried.

Michaela raised her eyebrows but as Dorothy was not more forthcoming, said, "I came by to see if you had time for coffee at Grace's".

"Michaela, you're a God-send! Let me just close up the press and I'll be right with you!"

On their way to Grace's they ran into Roberta who was urged to join them. They seated themselves at one of the tables with three audible sighs of relief which set them to laughing. "It's been quite a day!" Michaela remarked.

"It has, indeed!" Dorothy agreed while Roberta nodded assent.

"How's Sam doing?" Michaela asked.

""Oh, better," Roberta sighed. "He slept most of the day. In fact, he was still asleep when I left to come to town. He did manage to drink some of your tea," she told Michaela. "I'd still like to know what got into that boy - literally!"

"Sam woke up with an upset stomach and headache and he was very tired," Michaela explained to Dorothy.

"Oh, what boys won't get into!" Dorothy exclaimed. "I surely had a time with mine! I declare their stomachs must've been made of iron, the things they tried to eat!"

"Did Brian say anything about what they were doing yesterday?" Roberta asked curiously.

"Brian has been helping Sully all day today so we haven't had a chance to talk," Michaela answered.

"Oh, that's nice," said Dorothy. "A boy ought ta be helpin' his pa!"

"Well, in this case it was under duress, I'm afraid. Brian was supposed to help Sully after lunch yesterday but he forgot so Sully made him work the whole day today".

"Sam ran off yesterday without doing his chores!" Roberta said. "I was going to keep him home today to help me out but as it happened, he was sick in bed all day!"

Dorothy shook her head. "Boys will be boys! Why I recall once..."

"There ya go, folks," Grace said as she set cups down before them. "Mind if I join ya for a few minutes before the dinner rush starts?" The three women smiled their assent and Grace plopped down with a sigh of her own. "Now, what were y'all sayin' about boys?"

Dorothy opened her mouth to continue but Michaela quickly jumped in, "Oh, Dorothy was about to tell us about the problems she's been experiencing with the 'Eagle'. What's been going on with Preston re-starting the 'Gazette'?"

Roberta and Dorothy glanced at Michaela in surprise but Dorothy recovered quickly and replied, "Yes, well, Preston's brought in a man from Denver to start up the 'Gazette' again. He's printin' all the same local news that I am, plus he has access to news from all over the country. Preston has the money to pay for sources and equipment I just can't afford right now. I'm afraid he's goin' ta run me right out of business! I asked Preston if maybe he'd let me print the local news in the 'Eagle' and save his paper for the news from around the country and he just smiled that wicked little smile at me and said, 'Competition, Dorothy! That's what life is all about!' I suppose he's gettin' back at me for the way I treated him durin' the trial, right after he dissolved our partnership."

The women murmured sympathetically and promised Dorothy that they would keep buying her paper. "Speaking of the trial," Roberta said, "have you heard anything about when the judge will return?"

"Matthew says he should be here in about three weeks" Michaela shook her head. "I get more and more nervous as the time approaches and I know Sully's thinking about it as well. It's been easy these last two years to forget that the trial isn't really over, yet, but now that the two years are almost up ..."

Dorothy clasped Michaela's hand in silent sympathy and Roberta said, "Well, you know Peter will be right there beside him again. He's been perusing all his old law books to see if there's any precedent and he's planning a trip to the library in Denver to see what's new there. I know he feels confident that, given how well he's done on all the repairs, Sully will receive a complete pardon".

"I hope so," Michaela sighed. "If only Preston's homestead were completely finished!"

Grace, who had been silent since she first joined them, added, "Ya know we're all behind both of you, Dr. Mike". Then sighing, she rose to finish preparations for the supper crowd.

The others watched her go. Dorothy clucked sympathetically. "I wonder how she is, really".

Roberta shook her head. "As someone once told me, 'It's not something you get over right away - maybe not ever'."

"Well, I have to be going!" Michaela jumped up abruptly. "Mother insisted on cooking tonight. She and Rebecca are leaving tomorrow for San Francisco to visit Marjorie. Sully and Brian are coming by the clinic to pick me up. I enjoyed the coffee!" and with a swish of skirts she was gone.

Dorothy and Roberta shared a perplexed look, put some coins on the table and left the cafe.

When their mother had left to take care of some business in town, Bonnie Taylor tiptoed into Sam's room. he was pretending to be asleep. Bonnie could tell he was pretending because he had the covers pulled up over his head and there was an absolutely fake snore coming from beneath them. Besides, he had been asleep all day and how long could one person sleep?

"Sam!" she whispered loudly, "Sam!"

"Go away," he muttered. "I'm sleeping!"

"No, you're not. Stop faking. I want to know what you and Brian were up to last night!"

Sam sat up with a groan. "Oh, my head!" He glared at Bonnie. "It's none of your business!"

Bonnie ignored the second statement, concentrating on the first. "Do you want more of that tea Dr. Mike gave you?"

Sam made a face. "Nah. My stomach's okay now."

"I could make you some willow bark tea..."

"Just leave me alone!"

"Sam, I saw you and Brian coming home. It was 4:00 in the morning and Brian was practically carrying you. What were you doing?"

"Man stuff" Sam said shortly.

"Oh sure" Bonnie retorted. "All the men I know are out in the bushes at 4 AM throwing up!"

In spite of himself, Sam laughed. Then he groaned again. "Look," he told Bonnie, "if I tell you, you gotta promise, you gotta swear..."

"Cross my heart and hope to spit" Bonnie said solemnly, making an X across her chest with her two fingers which she then kissed and held aloft.

Sam beckoned her closer. "You know Trevor?"

"Mr. Lodge's nephew?" At Sam's nod she made a face. "I don't like him. He keeps calling me 'Sis'. He thinks he's so big just because he's from the city and is going to college next year."

"Yeah, well, he's all right. Me and Brian showed him the treasure cave yesterday and he taught us to smoke!" Sam lowered his voice on the last word.

Bonnie wrinkled up her nose. "Yulch! How could you stand it?"

"It wasn't so bad. You get used to it" Sam said with an air of nonchalance.

"That still doesn't explain about this morning!"

"I'm getting to that. He asked me and Brian to meet him last night. We weren't going to but then Brian got mad at Sully and I was pretty mad at Mother and Father for making me stay in today so we decided to go see what he was up to."

"More smoking?" Bonnie guessed.

"Better than that" Sam lowered his voice again. "Whiskey!"

"Whiskey!! Sam, are you CRAZY!" Bonnie forgot to be quiet.

"Shut up!!" Sam cried frantically, "Father's just downstairs with the twins! It's not that big a deal!"

"Not a big deal? Sam, you know Father hardly ever takes a drink and Mother always said that the man who ... who burned our house and killed little Laura was probably 'liquored up' before he did it!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to go burning down houses or killing babies" Sam said gruffly. "We were just enjoying a smoke and a drink and some man talk".

"Well, I guess you've learned your lesson!" Bonnie declared.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, all that smoking and drinking - no wonder you were so dauncy!"

"That? Dr. Mike said it was something I ate that was spoiled". Seeing Bonnie's skeptical look he added, "Hey, Brian smoked and drank and he didn't get sick!"

Bonnie just shook her head. "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when Mother and Father find out!"

Sam suddenly grabbed her wrist hard and cried in a low, menacing voice, "They better not find out! You swore, remember!"

Bonnie was frightened by Sam's sudden change of mood and tears sprang to her eyes. "I ... I said I wouldn't tell. I never have. Not even the time back in Philadelphia when you put the horse muffin in Charlie Springer's lunch pail".

"Is everything all right up there?" Peter Taylor's voice came from downstairs.

Sam and Bonnie looked at each other wide-eyed then Bonnie called, "We're fine, Father. I was just checking to see if Sam needed anything!" then to Sam she said, "I won't tell ... only - please - don't do it again!"

Sam shrugged and let go of Bonnie's wrist. "I know you won't tell. You're a pretty good kid - for a sister. Now go away and let me sleep". He settled down under the covers again as Bonnie left the room to begin her evening chores.

- Part 12
Sully pulled the wagon to a stop at the livery and set the brake. Brian had been very quiet on the ride in from Preston's and he'd left the boy to his thoughts. He hopped down from the wagon as Robert E approached.

"How ya doin', Sully?"

"Robert E!" They shook hands, then Sully reached for a bag of tools. "Got some things need sharpenin'. Can ya take care of it?"

"Sure thing, Sully" Robert E reached for the bag, then looked around as if to make sure they were alone. "Sully, could I talk to ya for a moment?"

"Sure, Robert E, is somethin' wrong?"

"Not really, it's just ..." Robert E tightened his lips and looked toward the horizon at something Sully couldn't see.

Sully put a concerned hand on his friend's arm. "How are you and Grace holdin' up?"

Robert E sighed. "As well as can be expected. It don't get any easier".

"I know," Sully replied, nodding. "Ya learn to live with it, but it's never easy. I'm sorry I ain't been around more, been here for ya ..."

"Right now it's Grace concerns me" Robert E broke in.

"She seemed all right when Michaela and me were here the other night for supper ..." Sully said.

"That's just it. She puts a good face on it but deep down that woman is hurtin'. She really needs ta talk about it but ..." he turned anguished eyes to his friend.

"But it's hard for her to talk to ya" Sully guessed.

"It ain't that - we talk fine, talk all the time. What she needs," he went on, "is a woman - someone who can understand her point of view, ya know, who'll just listen ..."

Sully squinted in puzzlement. "She ain't found anyone to talk to?"

Robert E heaved a sigh and looked to the heavens for help, then he turned back to Sully, speaking with great intensity. "Sully, Grace thinks the world of Dr. Mike, we both do. She's a good doctor and a good friend. But ever since ... ever since Anthony died, it feels like she's avoidin' us".

"Avoidin' you?"

"Yeah, like she's afraid to be around us. And Grace says she never wants to talk about the children. Why, just today Grace says she was in here with Roberta and Dorothy and Grace thought ta join 'em for awhile. She thought they were talkin' about Brian and Sam an' all the trouble boys can be at that age but when Grace sat down with 'em, seems like Dr. Mike changed the subject, then left soon as she could!"

"Maybe she's afraid Grace doesn't wanta talk about it".

"Yeah, that's what we figured. I thought maybe if ya talked to Dr. Mike, let her know that Grace wants ta talk, needs ta talk, well, maybe then she'll know it's okay to just listen".

"Sure, I'll talk to her" Sully said.

"Thanks, Sully".

"Sure thing, Robert E. I'll pick up those tools tomorrow mornin'". He called to Brian who had been visiting with the horses and together they headed for home.

Trevor pushed through the doors of the Gold Nugget and let his eyes adjust to the dimness within. There were a few whistles and cries of "Hey Hank, didn't know you was runnin' a nursery, now!" but he ignored them. He sauntered over to the bar and ordered a whiskey.

Hank smiled a little half smile at him and drawled, "No kids allowed".

Trevor made a great show of looking all around. "I don't see any kids in here, do you?" he asked, placing a bill on the counter.

Hank palmed the money, giving Trevor a sardonic look. Over his shoulder he told Jake, "Pour this 'man' a whiskey".

Jake grimaced and poured a shot of whiskey, pushing it across the bar to Trevor who grabbed it and took a drink. Immediately he began coughing and spluttering. "What ... what is that stuff?" he cried, tears streaming from his eyes.

Raucous laughter and mutterings came from the men seated around tables nearby.

"Whatsamatter, boy?" one called to him, "ain't ya never had no real likker before?"

Hank grinned. "Sorry we don't have no fancy stuff like your uncle - been raidin' his supply, have ya?"

Trevor gave the saloon-keeper a black look then took his drink to an empty table and sat down. Jake watched from under his hat then remarked to Hank, "I bet Preston ain't gonna like you sellin' drinks to his nephew".

"Preston don't like much of anything" Hank paused to light a cigar.

Jake raised his eyebrows. "I know one thing he'd like".

"What's that?"

"If the judge came back next month and sentenced Sully to hang".

"Ain't much chance of that" Hank replied, inhaling deeply.

"Think he'll go free?" Jake asked.

"If he gets Preston's homestead done, sure. Why not?" Hank blew a puff of smoke toward the ceiling.

Jake shrugged. "Yeah, why not?" He began wiping the counter.

Over at the table, Trevor put down his glass, still half-full, stood up and straightened his hat. He nodded to Hank and Jake and stalked out of the saloon.

At a table in the Chateau dining room, almost hidden under a haze of cigar smoke, Preston sat with three well-dressed city gentlemen. He was speaking very earnestly to them. "...and I have every confidence, gentlemen, that with the addition of ten rooms to my hotel, I will recoup the moneys spent and double my profits within two years!"

"This certainly was a wonderful meal," a distinguished-looking man with bushy white sideburns remarked, pushing back his chair. "Is this the fare you serve all of your clients?"

"It is, indeed, Mr. Ferrell. Only the best for guests of the Springs Chateau!"

"I hope you are able to charge enough!" growled a thin, sour-looking man. "Much of this food must be imported - quite expensive, I would say!"

Preston waved a hand expansively. "Only for part of the year, Mr. Smithers! Soon we will be reaping the bounty of the local harvests. We are fortunate here to have to local farmers and ranchers who keep me supplied with meat and game as well as produce. I can assure you I am able to obtain the wherewithal for sumptuous banquets for a mere song!"

Smithers grunted and Farrell chimed in, "I'm a little bothered by this being termed a 'Health Resort and Clinic'. Do you actually allow sick people here?"

"Not at all, gentlemen. As you undoubtedly have concluded, that would drive away more business than it would bring in. I am simply patterning my hotel after the great resorts of Europe where people come from miles around to partake of the healthful benefits of the hot springs. These people have nothing really wrong with them that rest, good food and our special health tonic won't cure."

"Health tonic?" Mr. Johnston, bespectacled, with slickly combed rust-colored hair, spoke up.

"Ah, yes," Preston smiled. "Our physician in residence, Dr. Andrew Cook, recommends it highly as a boon to good health. People come here to rest, relax, soak in the hot springs, use our thoroughly modern exercise equipment. Sometimes they consult with Dr. Cook about small problems such as headaches or indigestion, and he instructs them in the use of the equipment. But, no, we do not allow sick people at the Springs Chateau. Everything is geared to our guests' comfort. A couple of years ago we had a woman here recovering from burn injuries. Unfortunately they were somewhat disfiguring. Her presence was disconcerting to many of our guests so I offered to make arrangements for her to stay at a place more suitable to her needs."

"Did she take you up on it?" Smithers wondered.

"Ummm - she did eventually end up going elsewhere" Preston hedged.

Now Mr. Ferrell spoke again. "I'm a bit concerned about what I hear of an Indian problem around here. I understand there have been raids and burnings recently? I would be a little hesitant to invest further in a hotel venture that might, quite literally, go up in smoke, or at the very least would be underbooked due to people's being fearful of staying there!"

Preston mentally gritted his teeth. Drat Sully and his shenanigans! Aloud he said, "There has been no unrest for quite some time. It is my understanding that the Indians have moved far North with their families. The man responsible for their escape from the Reservation is currently serving a sentence of work in the community which has kept him far too busy to be of anymore trouble. Very soon the circuit judge will be here to conduct a hearing and I expect final justice will be served".

"Didn't James Winthrop used to cover this circuit?" Johnston asked.

"That's right," Preston answered. "Has he been transferred?"

"Actually, he retired" Johnston replied. "Said it was getting to be too much for him, gallivanting about the country".

"Interesting. Do you know who's taken his place?" Preston queried.

"I believe there are actually two judges covering this circuit - Judge Roland and Judge Spenser".

"Judge Roland, eh?" Preston grinned.

"Know him?" Smithers asked.

"I've heard of him" Preston grinned. Then seemingly changing the subject, he said, "Gentlemen, I don't think we need to worry about the future of the Springs Chateau. Colorado Springs is growing and prospering, I have access to advertising in newspapers across the country and I have been booked to capacity since the beginning of May. So, can we talk about expanding?"

Ferrell, Johnston and Smithers looked at each other, exchanging invisible signals, then turned as one to Preston. "Well, my boy" Ferrell said, "let's hear what your plans are!"

- Part 13
Elizabeth had outdone herself that evening, preparing and roasting a chicken with several accompanying vegetables. "Mother, you are full of surprises!" Michaela exclaimed.

"Oh, Rebecca did as much as I did, if not more" Elizabeth said deprecatingly, but she looked pleased.

"Don't be fooled. Mother did most of it!" Rebecca assured them.

"Well, I always felt a woman should know how to cook and clean and sew, whether or not her family had servants, though goodness knows, Michaela resisted all my attempts to teach her".

"I just had other things on my mind," Michaela smiled.

"I certainly must say, preparing a meal here increases my admiration for you," Elizabeth said, "coming out here and finally learning to do all those things under the most primitive circumstances, and with a family to cook for, and all".

Michaela laughed ruefully. "Well, we all suffered at first. And I did have a lot of help. Colleen was a wonderful cook even at 12 and she taught me a great deal. And Sully used to bring us food he had hunted or trapped." She turned a smile on her husband. "What surprised me was how often he'd stay to eat what I prepared!"

Sully grinned back at her, blue eyes twinkling. "Wasn't the food that kept me comin' back" he said, his voice deep with meaning.

Michaela blushed and became absorbed with her meal.

Later that night Sully finished brushing Michaela's hair, laid the brush down on the dressing table and began massaging her shoulders.

"MMMmmmm - that feels good!" Michaela closed her eyes and leaned into the backrub.

Sully continued in silence for awhile, working his way across her shoulders and down her arms with his strong yet gentle hands. Then he wrapped his arms around her, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. "Ya sorry your Ma and Rebecca are leavin' tomorrow?"

Michaela smiled and wrapped her arms around Sully's. "Yes ... and no". Sully raised his eyebrows questioningly and she went on, "I'll miss them, of course, but ..."

Sully leaned over and kissed her cheek. "It'll be good to be just us again" he finished for her.

"Mmmmm". Michaela turned to face Sully as he leaned down and kissed her lips. "Were you able to talk with Brian, today?" she asked as Sully crossed the room to remove his shirt.

"Some" he said as he poured water into the basin for washing. "Talked about choices an' responsibility ..." he began his evening ablutions.

"How did he react?" Michaela asked as Sully finished washing.

Sully toweled his face dry as he moved to the bed. Throwing back the comforter, he looked at Michaela invitingly. She joined him and they cuddled together to continue their conversation. "He was all right, I guess. He's been pretty upset these last couple years, more than I really knew. Worryin' about me when I went to trial an' then me workin' on the homesteads - we haven't had a lotta time for huntin' and fishin' like we used to. Brian seems ta think I make promises to other people that take me away from the family too much - breakin' promises to him, I guess. He started talkin' about it some but then Preston came along and we hadta get to work." He pulled back a little so he could see Michaela's face. "I was thinkin' about Brian, about how he's growin' up, gettin' to the point where he's gotta decide what to do with his life..."

"It's hard to believe" Michaela sighed. "Of course, I've been hoping he would want to go to college".

Sully grinned. "Brian said you'd say that".

"Oh he did, did he?"

"Yep. I told him he had a lot of decisions to make in the next couple years". Sully turned on his side to face Michaela and continued cautiously, "I thought maybe a vision quest might be a good start toward helpin' him find his path ..." He twirled a lock of her hair in his fingers and looked at her, hoping she wouldn't explode.

Michaela's brow furrowed as she pondered what he was saying. "Vision quest? But ..."

Sully reached for her hand. "I'd wanta do it right, Michaela. I'm talkin' about after I'm pardoned ..."

"If you're pardoned!"

"Well, assuming I am. I'd like to go North, find Cloud Dancin' an' the others. They would support Brian in this, see it's done right. Before that happens, though, he needs to perform a task".

"Yes, I well remember Matthew's encounters with the hawk!"

"Well, I had somethin' different in mind for Brian". Michaela was still listening, so he went on, "I've taught Brian a lot about survival, about findin' food, shelter, makin' a fire. He's never really had to use those skills an' I thought maybe a week on his own in the woods - not too far off - survivin' an' usin' those skills might be a good task, one the Cheyenne would accept". He waited for Michaela's reaction.

"I think it's a good idea" she said.

"What!?!"

"Did you expect me to object? I have learned some things in the years I've known you!" she smiled. "My worry would be that Brian isn't quite mature enough to handle such a task - his carelessness, his disregard for promises he's made ..."

"That's why it's such a good task" Sully said. "When he as no one to rely on but himself, he'll learn the importance of doin' what needs ta be done. He'll go hungry, otherwise."

"Then I guess we should start planning".

Sully kissed her sweetly. "We can talk more about it tomorrow. Michaela, you never cease to amaze me!"

She smiled a sultry smile and said, "You're pretty amazing, yourself, Mr. Sully" as she leaned forward for another kiss.

Sully would have loved to have taken things further but he had another promise to keep, first. And it would be best to take care of it while Michaela was still in such a receptive mood. He broke off the kiss before either of them was ready to and said, "Michaela, there's somethin' else I need to discuss with ya".

Michaela looked apprehensive. "What's that, Sully?"

Sully reached for her hand again. "I saw Robert E today. He'd worried about Grace. He says she ... she needs ta talk about Anthony".

Michaela suddenly began showing signs of great discomfort. She withdrew her hand from Sully's and moved a little away from him. "I'm ... I'm not sure that's such a good idea" she said nervously.

Sully moved closer again and looked at Michaela intently. "Good idea for who? Michaela, look at me!" for she was avoiding his gaze. "Good idea for who? Grace wants to talk - Robert E said so. He said she wants to talk with a woman about it, someone who'll share her point of view, who'll listen ..."

"Grace won't want to talk with me"

"She does - I been tellin' ya. Robert E says she told him every time it comes up ya change the subject!" He sighed with frustration for she had turned her back on him and was lying on her side hunched away from him. It took a few minutes for him to realise she was crying. He nestled close to her, pulling her back into the warmth of his chest. "Michaela, what is it?" He held her, stroking her hair until her sobs began to subside. Finally, she turned to face him and clung to him as if she were drowning.

"Oh Sully, you don't understand!"

"I want to!"

She raised tear-filled eyes to his concerned blue ones. "Sully, I wasn't there for her! Grace is my friend and Katie's godmother and I wasn't there for her when she needed me most!" Seeing that Sully still didn't comprehend, she went on, "Sully, last August when Anthony began having those fainting spells, I diagnosed kidney damage. I asked Andrew to give a second opinion and he concurred. We knew that Anthony didn't have long to live. I told Grace and Robert E and I know they eventually spoke to Anthony about it. I'm sure it was the hardest thing they ever did, but by that time I was ... preoccupied".

"The baby," Sully said, remembering.

The tears were flowing freely now as Michaela relived her memories. "Gordon was born at the end of September and Anthony died two days later. I'd had the stitches and couldn't even get around yet..."

"Ya couldn't help that," Sully assured her. "Michaela, Grace and Robert E know ya couldn't be there, they know babies don't always pick convenient times to get born ..."

"Do they?" Michaela asked bitterly. "Grace has never been able to conceive and I've never been able to find out why"

"Michaela, ya gotta quit blamin' yourself!"

But she was continuing, "And Anthony - what about Anthony? I could never diagnose what was wrong with him, let alone cure it! I read every book, every journal I could find, I wrote to every doctor, every hospital! Only a few had even heard of such symptoms, none knew what to do for them. The only common factor seemed to be that it was always Negro children who presented these symptoms. Dr. Clarke in New York had seen two cases. One family with a nine-year-old girl he lost track of when they moved. The other was a seven-year-old boy who died. Sully, I left no stone unturned in trying to find out what was wrong with Anthony ..."

"Of course ya did! Ya just said you done your best".

"But it wasn't good enough, Sully - Anthony is dead and I wasn't there for Grace when she needed me!"

"She needs ya now," Sully said softly. "She don't blame you - nobody blames ya. It's just one o' them things maybe someday we'll know more about. Like that mystery illness at the clinic. Ya can't cure or even diagnose every illness. But right now Grace don't need Dr. Quinn, she needs Michaela and you're every bit as good a friend as ya are a doctor. Maybe even better" He began to gently wipe the tears from her face and to place gentle kisses where the tears had been. "There ain't no quick cure for this," he said, "and Grace ain't gonna feel better right away, but havin' a friend ta listen to her, ta understand, will help in her healin'".

"I thought you didn't want to talk to anyone when Abigail and Hannah died".

He sighed. "Everyone's different, Michaela. When bad things happen, I need ta get off by myself and think things through. Other people, like Grace, need ta have folks around". He smiled. "Right now I'm glad I've got you around".

Michaela managed a wan smile. "And I'm very glad I have you! Thank you, Sully. Thank you for speaking honestly to me and showing me how I was hiding behind my guilt".

Sully kissed her again. "So you'll see Grace tomorrow?"

"I will," Michaela promised as she returned the kiss with an intensity that surprised Sully. He groped toward the nightstand and turned down the lamp before disappearing under the covers with Michaela.

- Part 14
Sully seemed unusually cheerful as he hitched up the wagon the next morning and Michaela commented on it as she brought out some of her mother's and sister's bags. He flashed her a grin and said, "Why shouldn't I be? Had a good sleep last night - not much, but good!"

Michaela blushed and hurried inside to help Elizabeth and Rebecca finish packing. Her mother was holding Katie tightly. "Oh, Grandma's going to miss her sweet Katie!" She looked over at Gordon nestled in Rebecca's arms. "And little Gordon ... I almost can't bear to leave!" She set Katie down and reached for Gordon. "They grow so fast ... next thing you know this one will be as big as Brian!"

Brian, standing somewhat aloof from the group said, "We'll miss you, too, Grandma!"

Elizabeth handed Gordon to Michaela and walked over to Brian. "You're not too big to give me a hug, are you, Brian? I still remember the little boy who gave me my first tour of Colorado Springs!"

Brian grinned and returned the hug. Rebecca claimed a hug from Brian, as well, and picked up Katie for a farewell embrace. "The town changes so much each time we visit - it's growing by leaps and bounds!"

Michaela smiled ruefully. "Too fast, Sully would say".

Just then Sully appeared in the doorway. "Wagon's ready and loaded. Best be goin'. Train boards at 9".

Rebecca handed Katie to Brian. "Good-bye, Brian. I'm really looking forward to reading your next story. Don't forget to send it to me - I love your writing!"

"Thanks, Aunt Rebecca. I'll send it when it's done. Have a good trip!"

"'Bye, Auntie 'becca, 'bye, Gramma. Come back soon!" Katie piped up. Everyone laughed and even Katie wrinkled up her nose and giggled.

Michaela turned to Brian. "Thank you for agreeing to stay home this morning with Katie. I want to see Grace at the cafe and I have a few things to do at the clinic, but I should be home by noon".

"Okay, ma" Brian said.

"Get the stalls cleaned out an' your other chores done an' you can go fishin' this afternoon" Sully told him.

Brian nodded. The group trooped outside and Brian and Katie waved from the porch as Sully helped everyone into the wagon then jumped up himself and drove away.

Later that morning Michaela headed over to the cafe. Dorothy had been kind enough to agree to watch Gordon while he napped. She suddenly realised how free she had been with her mother and Rebecca around to help watch the children. There were advantages to having extra family around. It would be difficult this summer with Colleen not coming home but she had been offered an opportunity too wonderful to resist.

Dr. Richard Miller, a middle-aged doctor who worked mostly among the poor and destitute of the Philadelphia area, had a custom of hiring one male and one female medical student to assist him each summer. He was a member of the Society of Friends and believed in treating every person who needed medical help, no matter what their race, creed or financial status, a belief not shared by very many of his colleagues. Colleen was not sure exactly what type of work she would be doing as this man's assistant - she probably would not get as much "hands on" experience as she did helping her mother, but it was an honor to be chosen to work with him and she would learn a great deal in preparation for her second year in medical school.

Michaela's eyes were moist as she thought of how much she missed her eldest daughter. Saying good-bye to her mother and sister had been difficult, as well, though she and her mother had parted on better terms this time than they had in the past. And there was the possibility of a return visit on their way back to Boston. Michaela found herself wondering if this would prove to be a good idea. She wasn't sure what her mother's mood would be after spending time with Marjorie, especially if her sister chose to reveal facts about her new relationship with Loren, facts of which their mother, up to now, was blissfully ignorant. Michaela had not been about to enlighten her, either, even though she, herself, did not exactly approve.

She arrived at the cafe, steeling herself for the conversation she had promised Sully she would have but which she knew she would find difficult. "Just tell her what ya told me," Sully had told her. That was easier said than done. She prayed for guidance as Grace approached.

"Mornin', Dr. Mike. What can I get ya?"

"Actually, Grace, I was hoping we could have a cup of coffee together and ... and a talk" Michaela began nervously.

"A talk" Grace said with a little smile. She looked about the cafe, empty of the breakfast crowd, not yet filling up with those wishing lunch. "Well, as you can see, Dr. Mike, I'm kinda busy ..." She cut her eyes at Michaela with almost an impish look.

Michaela took hold of herself and said firmly, "Grace, please sit down". They sat. Looking at Grace directly, Michaela said, "Before we talk, there's something I need to say - I don't know why it's taken me so long ..."

"What is it, Dr. Mike?" Grace said with a trace of apprehension.

Impulsively, Michaela reached for her hand. "Please, Grace, call me Michaela!" ..

Sully was pensive as he rode out to Preston's homestead. He had picked up his newly-sharpened tools at Robert E's and had borrowed a horse, as well, leaving the wagon so Michaela would have a way to get home later.

The train had been boarding when they got into town so the good-byes had been brief. Rebecca, as always, had hugged him warmly but it was Elizabeth who had surprised him with a hug, a kiss on the cheek and a whispered "Thank you for loving my daughter so well!" Both had promised prayers that the upcoming hearing would go in Sully's favor.

Now as he approached the homestead site he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. It wasn't anything he could put his finger on, just a general sense of foreboding. As he approached the site and saw Preston standing in front, arms crossed in front of him, he knew his instincts had been correct. Preston looked as if he were about to explode.

"What is the meaning of this, Sully?" he cried before Sully had even had a chance to dismount.

Sully refused to be goaded by Preston's anger. "Michaela's family left on the 9:00 train. Had ta see them off. Then I had business with Robert E before comin' here" he said calmly.

"I wasn't referring to your tardiness, although how you expect to complete the job when you come and go as you please is beyond me. I was referring to this!"

When Sully saw what Preston meant by "this" he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. The tins of paint he had left on the porch lay on their sides, lids pried open, paint lying in pools and spilling down the steps. The bristles had been cut off the new brushes and scattered into the puddles of drying paint. Two support posts for the porch had been hacked at with an axe, leaving the porch roof in a precarious state.

Sully tethered his horse and approached the house as if in a trance, oblivious to the pure fury emanating from Preston. Who could have done such a thing?

"I can't believe you were careless enough to leave your materials out in the open where anybody could come along and steal them, or worse!" Preston gestured angrily at the mess.

Sully turned and looked at Preston as if seeing him for the first time. "I never had no trouble before" he said.

"Well, you have trouble now, and plenty of it! The entire porch will have to be rebuilt!"

Sully was mentally assessing the damage and did not reply. He'd have to deal with the support posts first off before the entire porch collapsed. He could scrape up most of the mess, sand the floor, the steps ... But he'd have to buy more wood, more paint, brushes ..."

As if reading his mind, Preston said, "You'll have to buy all new supplies, now. I hope you have some extra cash socked away because you certainly won't have time to earn more and get all this done before the judge comes back" He paused for a moment, eyes glinting. "Perhaps you should telegraph your rich friend, Daniel. I'm sure he'll come through for you again. Did you ever finish paying him off for the last time he bailed you out? Or perhaps Michaela found a way to take care of your debt?" His voice took on a mocking tone.

Sully stopped surveying the damage and turned a steely gaze on Preston who immediately raised his fists in a defensive gesture. Sully fixed him with an ice-blue stare and spoke quietly and evenly. "Let's get somethin' straight. There has never been anything between us more than just a business relationship, and that only when we was forced to. An' I would appreciate it if when speakin' of my wife you would use a little respect. She's too much of a lady ta say this to ya, but she only allows her nearest and dearest ta call her Michaela. I would be obliged an' I know she would, too, if, in the future you referred to her as 'Dr. Quinn'. That is her professional name and that is the nature of our relationship". Sully had been moving slowly closer to Preston as he spoke, stepping as softly and slowly as a panther. Now he stood with him, face to face and in a low voice much more menacing than any shout he said, "An' I don't wanta haveta tell you this again". Then he turned on his heel, flung himself on his horse and galloped off.

- Part 15
Brian was in the barn mucking out the stalls while Katie watched from her perch on a bale of hay. He was on his own for chores today as Matthew was in Denver taking care of sheriff's business.

"You're sure lucky, Katie" he said as he wielded his pitchfork.

"Why?" Katie asked her favorite question.

"'cause you're little and a girl".

"You wanta be a girl, Brine?" Katie giggled.

"No!" Brian growled. "It's just that when you're little an' a girl everyone thinks you're cute an' you can get away with everything".

"Bonnie says you're cute" Katie informed him.

Brian blushed and went on with his work. "You're too little to understand. It's just different for you. You an' Gordon are Ma and Pa's real kids".

"You real, Brine!" Katie assured him.

Brian leaned on the pitchfork and sighed. Talking to a three-year-old could be frustrating. But Katie was smart and understood a lot for her age. "Katie, didn't you ever wonder why my name's not the same as yours?"

"Nobody's the same" Katie said.

"Not first names. Last names" said an exasperated Brian.

Katie grinned and pointed to Brian. "Brine Cooper" she said, then pointed to herself, "Katie Sully. Mama's Dr. Quinn. All diff'rent!" she said happily.

Brian sighed. Relationships were hard to figure and impossible to explain in this unconventional family. He leaned the pitchfork against the wall and came and sat beside Katie. "Do you remember when Ma was pregnant, before Gordon was born?"

"Mama fat!" Katie recalled.

"Yeah, well, that's 'cause Gordon was growing inside her, just like you did before you were born".

"Did not!" Katie giggled. She was enjoying this time with her big brother.

"Yeah, ya did," Brian said. "But I didn't".

"Where'd you grow, Brine?" Katie asked.

"I grew in a different Ma," Brian explained patiently.

"Why?"

"Because ... because I did. Her name was Charlotte Cooper an' me an' Colleen and Matthew were all born to her. She was our real Ma."

"Cleen and Mat'ew too?"

"Uh-huh".

"Where she is?"

She ... she's in Heaven".

"She died?"

"Yeah. Rattlesnake got her when I was almost 7. Dr. Mike tried ta save her but it was too late. My real ma asked Dr. Mike to look after us, so when she died, we went ta live with her" He shook his head remembering. "I sure wasn't happy about that then".

"Why?"

"I ... I missed my real Ma. I wanted her. I wanted my Pa."

"Where he was?"

"He left us" Brian said shortly.

"He died?" Katie asked.

"No, he just left. Last I heard he was in San Francisco".

"With Gramma?" Katie asked interestedly.

"No. I don't even know if he's still there. I haven't heard from him for more than two years". Brian got up from the hay bale to continue his chores".

"Why he left?" Katie asked.

"I dunno" Brian said crossly. "Got tired of us, I guess. When Ma and Sully got married they adopted us. That means they're our Ma and Pa now," he put in before Katie could ask. "I was real glad when they got married".

"I 'member that" Katie said.

"No, you don't, you weren't even born yet!" Talking with Katie could be exasperating sometimes. Still, it was good to have someone to talk to. Brian began spreading new hay in the stalls. "Every time I love someone it seems like they go away. My pa left and my ma died. Then my pa came back and left again. Last summer Anthony died ..."

"Ant'ny?"

"My best friend. Maybe you don't remember him. He was Grace and Robert E's son. They adopted him".

"I 'member" Katie insisted staunchly. "Why he died?"

"He was real sick" Brian said sadly.

"Mama couldn't fix him?"

"Nobody could" Brian sighed. "Gordon was born right before that. Pa was workin' out his sentence" he paused. He knew Katie didn't really understand all that was going on with Sully and he didn't want to worry her. He was worried enough for both of them. Loving people was hard because when they left, you ended up feeling empty and lost. He loved Sully. He had for a long time. He had wanted him and Dr. Mike to get married so he'd be their real Pa. Well, that had happened and it hadn't been quite what he expected. Sully and Dr. Mike had wanted to spend a lot more time alone together and he'd felt left out at first. But it was nice having Sully living with them, to read to him at night, to be there when he woke up.

If only there hadn't been all the trouble with the Indians. Of course, that had been going on before Ma and Sully got married. Brian felt a lump in his throat when he thought of all his Indian friends who had died in the slaughter at Washita including Chief Black Kettle, Cloud Dancing's wife, Snow Bird and his "na-hio", No Harm. He loved Cloud Dancing and he hated how the Indians had been treated. He just wished sometimes that Sully hadn't gotten so involved, involved to the point where he might have been sentenced to prison - or worse. The soldiers had wanted to hang him. He might still be sentenced to ... Brian let himself think the thought he'd been pushing away for the last two years and tears came to his eyes. It was too late. He had let himself love Sully and how Sully might be taken away just like almost everyone else he had ever loved.

Brian suddenly felt soft little arms around his knees. He had temporarily forgotten about Katie. "You love me, Brine?" she stared up at him, big-eyed.

He looked down at her and the lump in his throat grew bigger. "Yeah, I love you, Katie".

She nodded. "I love you Brine, and I won't go away".

"Thanks, Katie" he said in a choked voice.

Katie grinned. "You hungry, Brine? I am. Let's go eat!"

"Yeah. Ma should be home soon." He reached down, scooped Katie up and carried her into the house.

- Part 16
Sully rode like the wind. He rode as if every demon that had ever haunted him was after him, which, indeed, was very nearly the case. When he came to a certain clearing he slowed, walking his horse the last few yards. He remembered a similar ride more than six years ago. He had outrun Cloud Dancing, a difficult feat and his friend had wryly commented that he must have been running from woman trouble. Cloud Dancing had been right. The children had seen something in Sully's relationship with Michaela and had tried to get him to put a name to it but he just wasn't quite ready. Eventually, though, as Cloud Dancing had predicted, he had found room in his heart for love. Now he wondered if everyone wouldn't have been better off if he'd just kept on running.

He dismounted and walked across the grass of the clearing. This was a place where he had come before to seek answers, a place where he had found peace. If there was any solace to be had, perhaps he would find it here.

He sat cross-legged and tried to empty himself, appealing to the Cheyenne Spirits and the veho God to show him how things had gotten so terribly out of balance. Guilt, shame and anger threatened to overwhelm him. He stared at his hands. He had almost laid those hands on Preston today. He had no idea what would have happened if he had.

He felt as if his life were displayed before him and he sat in judgement on himself - judgement for letting down every single person who had ever meant anything to him...

...He was nine years old and he watched as his brother tried to sneak a ride on Mr. Olesen's mare while Mr. Olesen slept under a tree in the park. The stirrups hadn't been set right and Willie had slipped. Sully watched helplessly as his brother was dragged, screaming, to his death. Why hadn't he stopped him, why hadn't he told?

After that, he was unable to be to his mother what she needed him to be and soon she'd left her pain, and him, behind. What had he missed? What words were left unsaid or deeds undone that might have kept her from teetering over the brink of despair?

And Abigail - what of Abigail? She didn't deserve what had happened to her. He should have known, should have found her a doctor, demanded a doctor at the first sign of trouble. Now she and baby Hannah, the little innocent, lay in silent reproach of him in the cemetery in Colorado Springs. He had let them down, too.

He had failed his Cheyenne family, as well. The negotiations for which he'd acted as interpreter had gone for naught. Sand Creek had happened. Washita had happened. His tenure as an Indian Agent had done almost more harm than good. His final attempts at helping the Indians had nearly proved their undoing - many were dead, many faced unspeakable conditions at East Fork. Only a handful resided in relative peace and safety with the Northern Cheyenne. He could only hope and pray that Cloud Dancing was among them.

He was continually letting his family down, causing them fear and worry, putting them in danger of losing their home. He wasn't there for Michaela as she strove to maintain her practice, care for a baby, a toddler and a young teenager, and keep up their home as well, a juggling act that would put any circus performer to shame. He'd been so caught up in his own problems as well as Gordon's birth that he hadn't been there for Brian when he'd needed him most. Talking with Robert E and Michaela had made him realise he had let Brian down by not being there for him when his best friend, Anthony, had died.

As all these thoughts and memories came crowding on him, Sully cried out in anguish and despair, then put his head down and wept. He had no money "socked away" for more supplies - each penny for the project had been painstakingly budgeted with no allowance for error. Even if he had, he doubted there was time to clean up the mess and still finish by the time the judge arrived. The men who had helped him throughout the winter were needed on their own homesteads now. If only he had...if only he hadn't...

What? - into his consciousness a small, insistent voice crept. If only you had or hadn't what? Who are you to think you have so much power? Were you able to make these things happen or to prevent them? Things are what they are. You have made the choices that you and your family must now live with. You have new choices to make now.

Choices. What he had been talking to Brian about. He could choose to sit here in despair and allow the circumstances to overwhelm him or he could stand and fight. If only he knew what it was he was fighting. Who knew his situation well enough to know what destroying Preston's homestead would do to him and who hated him enough to carry it out?

The faces of his family appeared before him, etched in his mind, burned in his heart. He loved them and he knew they loved him. He couldn't let them down again. He would have to try to come against whatever or whoever it was.

He looked to the sky where the sun was reaching its zenith. He was burning daylight. It was time to go into town to see about getting more supplies. Perhaps he could work something out with Loren. He rose and stretched, then mounted his horse and headed into town

Preston sat at his desk at the bank still seething from this morning's encounter with Sully. He couldn't believe Sully had dared to speak to him that way - demanding respect from him - as if Sully or anyone in his crazy family deserved it. Once more Sully was trying to gain the upper hand. It amazed Preston that Sully could have stood there, looking at the damage that he had allowed to happen to Preston's homestead, and talk about names, and in such a threatening manner. It was a good thing no one else had been around to hear. It was humiliating, the way Sully had spoken to him. And a Lodge did not allow himself to be humiliated.

Preston remembered a time when he was around eleven, home from school for a holiday. His father had been ranting, his mother pleading. It had something to do with a man who had set up a bank in direct competition with his father's. He charged low interest and granted loans to those with whom his father would not even pass the time of day. They were considered poor risks. Preston II was sure that it was only a matter of time before the new bank went under. But it didn't. It thrived. That was the first offense. Then the two bank owners had met on the street one day and had gotten into an argument during which the senior Preston had felt humiliated in public. That was unforgivable. Young Preston wasn't clear on all the details of what had ensued. He knew his father had spoken to some important people who had asked the other banker to pay back money he owed them. Suddenly many people went to the bank to ask for their money back and he hadn't been able to pay them all. Soon his bank was in ruins.

It was one of the few times young Preston had heard his mother speak up to his father, speak against something he had done. And she had spoken loudly and vehemently. His father had felt no need to explain or justify his actions to her, but later he had gathered all five boys in his study.

"What I did was perfectly legal" he began. "The point is, no one humiliates a Lodge - in public or otherwise. And a Lodge does not allow himself to be bested by anyone. Ever." There was more, but this was the part young Preston remembered, the part he took to heart.

These words explained why he held such a grudge against Sully, a man who, time and again in the four years Preston had been in Colorado Springs had humiliated and bested him in one way or another. It was time to put a stop to it. It was too bad Matthew had practically blackmailed him into testifying for Sully over the dynamite-hijacking episode 2 1/2 years ago. It would have been handy to have had Sully tried on a murder charge. Without Preston there would have been no one to testify in his behalf. He wouldn't have escaped that one as easily as he had his most recent charge of treason.

Still, Sully remained convicted of the crime, and with the right judge coming to complete his trial, things might yet work out in his favor. He had telegraphed his newspaper colleagues in Denver and had received a reply today. It was as he had thought. Judge Roland had no patience with Indian sympathizers and others who tended to stir up trouble. With Roland on the bench it might not matter whether Sully completed his homestead or not. He was just as likely to decide the town, indeed the territory, would be better off with Sully out of the way - either in prison for life or at the end of a rope. In any event, he was unlikely to care one way or the other about Judge Winthrop's liberal sentence or the results thereof. The important thing was to make sure it was Judge Roland who came to Colorado Springs to complete the case.

Preston gathered pen, ink and paper and prepared to call in a few favors.

- Part 17
That evening Sully and Michaela sat in the wing back chairs, he mending harness, she letting down Brian's trousers. They were silent, Michaela thinking about her talk with Grace, Sully about his trip to town following his time in the woods.

He had entered the store with trepidation, knowing it was unlikely that Loren would extend him any more credit. He stood for a moment in uncertainty until Loren snapped, "Well, what d' you want? Thought you'd be over at Preston's trying ta finish up. Matthew says the judge is due back next month. That's just around the corner!"

Sully took a deep breath. "Had some trouble with my supplies. Gonna need some paint, brushes, wood, a few other things..." he handed Loren a list.

Loren glanced at him sharply. "Didn't you just buy a buncha paint and stuff from me last week?"

"Like I said, had some trouble".

When he saw Sully was not going to be more forthcoming, Loren threw up his hands and went over to where the paint and other supplies were kept. "How ya gonna pay for all this?" he asked suspiciously as he placed tins, brushes, sandpaper on the counter.

"Well, I was hopin' ..." Sully began uncomfortably.

"More credit?"

"No. I was hopin' there was somethin' I could do around here for ya - some repair work or somethin' ta pay it off".

"Ain't you got enough ta do, Sully?" Loren barked. He shook his head. "Here, take it! Don't know how a body's supposed ta earn a decent livin'..."

"Thanks, Loren" Sully said gratefully. "I'll pay ya when I can".

"Never mind that. Just take it" Loren made shooing motions with his hands.

"Loren, I can't just take it " Sully began sternly.

"Ah, there ya go again with that infernal pride of yours. Well, it ain't for you. Don't you go thinkin' that! Fact is," here he put his hands to his back and gave an exaggerated stretch, "Fact is I owe Dr. Mike for a visit last month. This'll make us even".

Sully eyed Loren suspiciously but he returned the look with wide-eyed innocence so Sully nodded, picked up his supplies and left.

He smiled now as he recalled the interchange and Michaela, seeing him, asked, "What's funny?"

"Just remembering a talk I had with Loren" he said. Then, not wanting to get into it, he asked, "Did ya have a good talk with Grace?"

Michaela smiled. "Yes, I did, Sully. I took your advice and just told her what I told you. It was difficult," she admitted, "but Grace was very understanding. She talked about how she tried so hard to keep from caring for Anthony, knowing how sick he was, knowing his stay with them was likely to be brief. But now she admits that loving him was worth it, despite the pain. Sully, she and Robert E are still hoping to conceive a child. They have so much love to give ... " She shook out the pair of trousers she was lengthening. "I'm not going to be able to let these out any more if Brian keeps growing!"

"They been real good to us" Sully said.

"Brian's trousers?" Michaela asked innocently.

"Grace an' Robert E" Sully said gently.

Michaela smiled a crooked smile that showed she'd known what he meant. "Yes, we have very good friends. Dorothy watched Gordon for me while Grace and I talked. Speaking of friends," she put her sewing in her lap and looked at Sully, who glanced up from his harness-mending with a wary look, "have you heard from Daniel lately?"

Sully bent his head to his work again. "No" he said, then in a lower voice, "and I'd just as soon keep it that way".

"What?" Michaela looked shocked. "But he's your best friend!"

"Michaela, we're friends. Just not exactly ... best friends. Besides, why is that so important to you?"

"Important to me? I thought it was important to you! He saved your life in the mine cave-in, you went all the way to Nevada for a whole month to help him ..."

"I made a promise, Michaela".

"Do you make that kind of a promise to someone who isn't a good friend?"

Sully breathed deeply, wishing the subject had never come up. He said quietly, "It's just that whenever I have anything ta do with Daniel, seems I always end up owin' him. Been that way ever since I first knew him".

"How did you two meet? You never really told me the whole story, just bits and pieces" Michaela put her sewing away in the basket and turned to Sully.

Sully remained silent for a moment, lost in memories. "Daniel and me met by the docks in New York. I was 9, he may have been a year or so older in age. He was miles older in knowledge and experience. His ma was dead, his pa was a part-time dock-worker and a full-time drunk. We used ta play marbles with the other kids that hung around the docks. He cheated."

"Really?" Michaela smiled.

"Yeah, really" Sully was serious. "Even then he managed ta fix it so all the kids owed him. If they ran out of marbles, he'd come up with other ways for them ta pay him back. I finally called him on it an' we ended up in a fist fight".

"Who won?"

"Don't matter. Daniel was always tryin' ta one-up everybody. He hated school - never would go. He'd come to our house sometimes an' my ma would offer to teach him ta read. She always read to me an' my brother. She's the one taught me ta love poetry. Daniel wouldn't have it, though. Said if he ever needed anything read or written, there were plenty of pretty girls willin' ta do it for him. That's what his father done and he didn't see no reason ta do anything different. He had an older sister, name was Rachel. We used ta spy on her when she was gettin' dressed. That's where I learned about female anatomy" Sully glanced at Michaela with a slight smile.

Michaela bit her lip and blushed, remembering past conversations on how they'd become acquainted with the opposite sex.

Sully sobered. "It was kinda sad, really".

"What was?"

"Well, one day, Rachel just disappeared. Daniel said a friend of his father's had adopted her. Looking back now an' remembering what kinda folks his pa hung around with, well, I guess he gave her or sold her, more likely, to someone in Hank's kinda business".

"How awful!" Michaela cried.

"Yeah, well, that's the kinda fella Jeb Simon was. It wasn't long after that my brother was killed and my ma ... died. I had nothin' ta stay for so I lit out on my own. We met up again, 'bout a year later, at Shoal Creek where he'd moved with his pa".

"You saved his life there" Michaela put in.

"Yeah, I guess so. I helped him out when he broke his ankle. Daniel told me I'd finally paid him off for all the marbles I owed him. I didn't stay long - kept movin' on. Didn't see Daniel for nearly ten years when we ended up at the same minin' camp, over near Cripple Creek" Sully became silent once again.

"There was a cave-in" Michaela prompted.

Sully nodded. "I was lucky to come out alive. 22 days ... Daniel never gave up on us, I'll say that for him".

"Surely he wouldn't have persevered like that if all he wanted was to gain something from you" Michaela reasoned.

Sully heaved a sigh. "Probably not an' I owed him. I told him so. Made him a promise I'd help him out whenever he needed. he stayed with me while I recovered an' when I was able ta travel, we came to Colorado Springs together. That's when I met Abigail".

"And Daniel decided to move on?"

"There was more to it than that. Daniel and me had a big fight over Abigail".

"Did he fall in love with her, too?"

"No, nothing like that. Daniel, he didn't know what love was. He never knew his mother. When his father got lonely, he'd just bring a woman home. 'Plenty of willin' women out there' he always told Daniel. That's all Daniel knew about men and women. he didn’t understand that I'd fallen in love with Abigail, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her" he glanced up to gauge Michaela's reaction but all he saw was sympathy and concern. "He couldn't understand that me and Abigail was willin' ta do anything, including defying Loren, ta be together. Love wasn't commitment to him, it was a night here, a night there ... There were always women comin' out to the minin' camps to entertain or, if not, there were saloons nearby. Daniel tried ta fix me up with one of the women, once".

"Oh really?" Michaela arched her eyebrows.

"She couldn'ta been more 'n 14 or 15. We ended up talkin' the whole night".

"Talking?"

"Michaela, my ma always tried ta do right by me. She tried to tell me an' my brother about th' birds an' the bees even though she was real shy about it. We finally put her outta her misery, told her we already knew everythin'. She was relieved we knew what we knew but 'that's not everything' she told us. She said that lovin' between a man an' his wife was one of the finest things ever created by God an' a beautiful way to affirm the closeness between two people. An' she said when God blesses that union by makin' a baby, there's no greater joy on earth. She said that some people try ta cheapen that love by puttin' it up for sale, or thinkin' anyone will do but that she couldn't imagine anything lonelier or emptier than makin' love with someone you weren't committed to 100 % for life. I was barely 10 but I never forgot those words. I wished I'd known my pa, that I'd seen them together. But I always figured they'd loved each other. I didn't have no interest in the ... the first time bein' with someone I didn't even know. But Daniel didn't understand at all. When me an' Abigail got engaged he was furious. He thought I was wastin' my life. He tried ta call in his debt on me, claimin' I owed him before I owed Abigail. He wanted ta move on an' he wanted me ta go with him. He said there were plenty of women along the way that we could pick some up wherever we went. He knew I prided myself on keepin' my promises and he tried ta use that but I was so in love with Abigail I wouldn't budge. That's one time I deliberately broke my promise.

"Daniel left before the wedding and I didn't think I'd ever hear from him again. That's why I was so surprised when that letter came, back when we were first married. It had been ten years but Daniel sounded as if we'd never fought - just said he thought he'd give me a second chance to pay back my debt. I guess I felt bad about breakin' my promise the first time an' why I felt like I had ta go then. I hadta prove to him and to myself that I really was a man of my word".

"You never said very much about your time there" Michaela said. "I didn't want to press, but you seemed quite preoccupied when you returned".

"Had a lot on my mind" Sully admitted. "I felt bad that we had fought about me goin' ... I hadta keep my promise but I really hated leavin' you an' the kids when we'd just become a family. An' even though he understood, I didn't like leavin' Loren when he'd been so sick".

"The stroke" Michaela remembered.

"An' on top of that there was the whole business of the mine..."

"The mine?"

"Michaela, I gave up minin' because of what if does to the land. Now Daniel was askin' me ta help set up a whole operation for him. I tried ta talk him out of it, ta show what he'd be doin' to the land but he wouldn't listen. He pointed out that if we didn't set it up there, someone else would. So I stayed on, figurin' I could at least be sure it was safe as possible an' didn't go messin' up people's drinkin' water". He shook his head. "Daniel didn't like a lot of my ideas, said they cost too much. I asked him what he was willin' ta pay in human lives ta get the job done. He didn't like that much. He just wanted things done quickly and cheaply. We fought about that, too. Told him if I was gonna help him I was gonna do things my way. I got the job done and got set ta come home and he tried ta talk me into stayin' on permanent".

"Staying? In Virginia City? He wanted you to move us all out there?"

"No, he just wanted me ta stay".

"But what about us?"

"I'm tellin' ya, Michaela, he didn't know nothin' about commitment ..."

"Unless it was commitment to him!"

Sully nodded. "I finished the job and set out for home soon's I could. I figured the debt was paid and that maybe that was the last we'd have to do with each other. But it ain't that easy ta just let a life-long friendship go ... So I wrote ta him at holidays and some other times. I figured maybe I could give him some kinda idea of what it meant to be happily married - ta have a family. I really never thought I'd see him again. But I didn't figure on Brian writing to him, too an' on his comin' out here".

"Well, you always seemed to say what good friends you were. You never told us any of what you're telling me now!"

"Never saw the point. I see now that it would've been better ta tell you a little more about our relationship".

"Well, I certainly understand now why you were so angry about his paying off our debt to Preston. It made you feel as if you owed him again".

"It wasn't just that. I didn't want anything ta do with any money comin' from that mine. I'd paid my debt ta Daniel and I'd kept my promise..." he hesitated a moment. "It's not that I don't feel like we're friends. He has been a friend ta me in the best way he knows how. It's just that our ways got more an' more different as time went by".

"Sully, there's something I don't quite understand".

"What's that?"

"Knowing what you did about Daniel, why did you leave us alone with him when he was visiting and you got that job on the cattle drive?"

"I dunno, Michaela. It was all so sudden - him comin' and me gettin' that job. I knew he wouldn't 'try' anything - he knew I'd kill him if he did" Sully was only half joking. "It's a difficult relationship to explain. Maybe that's why I never tried before. It's hard for me ta talk about things sometimes" Sully paused, remembering something else that was on his mind, then continued, "I think if there'd been trouble Daniel woulda protected you for my sake so I was glad he was there. The fact that he tried ta hide his feelin's for you proves there was somethin' between us. Usually he just helps himself ta what he wants" there was a bitter note to Sully's voice.

Michaela realised they were beginning to tread on dangerous ground, now. "Sully, I admit I was blind, then. All the worry about Preston, and then you being away, and I wanted so much to like Daniel for your sake - because he was your friend, had saved your life ... I didn't see what was right in front of me. It didn't occur to me that anyone else could fall in love with me".

Sully smiled a half-smile and reached across for Michaela's hand. "I think parta the reason Daniel was so attracted to ya, and the reason he maybe treated ya with respect was because you were the first real lady he ever met - a woman who is genuine an' fine an' true ta what she believes, who's warm an' friendly an' beautiful - who is not for sale" he gazed at her lovingly. "He probably never met anyone like you. It was probably the first time he was ever truly in love".

Michaela lowered her eyes and smiled at the tribute from her husband.

"You know, Michaela" Sully continued, "one of the things that has always been special ta me about our relationship is that we were friends from the start - long before we was courtin'. We could talk, learn from each other, we looked out for each other, we even had arguments but we enjoyed bein' together and we wasn't lookin' for what we could get but what we could give. Isn't that what bein' best friends is about?" He pulled her to her feet. "It's gettin' late. Why don't you go on up an' I'll take care of things down here?"

"All right" Michaela touched his cheek. "Thank you for sharing with me, Sully. It really means a lot to me". With a quick backward glance, she hurried upstairs to get ready for bed.

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